


you're not unique in dying

by great_big_worm



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/great_big_worm/pseuds/great_big_worm
Summary: The title of this fic is inspired by the song Ladder Song by Bright Eyes.Five finds Vanya just as she's about to hang herself in her apartment.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 1
Kudos: 77





	you're not unique in dying

Finally.

Vanya wished she could say she felt nervous, or distraught, or even downright _scared,_ but she didn't. Nothing about this felt wrong. If anything, the thought of sliding the rope around her neck and kicking the chair out from under her brought a sort of tranquil calm over her. She'd never be able to hurt anyone again. _She'd never hurt her family again._

With the confidence that this, ending her life, would be the best thing to ever happen to her siblings, Vanya stuck her head through the opening in the knot.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?!"

Her pulse picked up so quickly and her body so rapidly, she nearly stumbled off the stool before she'd intended to. 

Five stood in the doorway of her bedroom, distressed eyes swiftly darting from his sister, to the rope, to the stool beneath her, to the envelope on her neatly made bed.

"Vanya? You need to get down, okay? You just- you just need to get down." He stuttered, not daring to step any closer to Vanya than he already had. "We can talk about this."

"How the _hell_ did you get in my house?" Vanya kept her voice controlled, trying her best to keep the tears forming in the back of her throat from choking her. A dull pressure settled over her forehead. "I locked the door."

"I jumped in." Five hesitated. "I was worried about you. You weren't answering the phone."

"That doesn't give you the _right-"_

"The right to stop you from _hanging yourself?"_ Five scoffed. Vanya watched as his eyes welled, tears spilling silently down his cheeks. "I saw you die before. I can't do that again."

She felt an unearthly fire building within her, and she almost wanted to leap down and bring hell upon her brother for having the _audacity_ to make this about himself and his _stupid_ apocalypse. "I'm a fucking _bomb,_ Five! No matter what I do, or what I say, or how much I try to _stop myself,_ I'll always be the bomb!" Vanya cursed.

She could just step off the stool right now. Yeah, it would probably be for nothing since Five would just cut her down immediately, or she _would_ die and add to her brother's trauma, but at least it would be _something._ Maybe- 

_Crash!_

Her blurry eyes followed the sound. Her windows, her glasses, her cabinet doors, everything: shattered. 

Five looked to her with uncertainty.

"Listen, we can help you, Vanya. We can get you the training you need, and-"

"I killed Pogo." Vanya admitted, surprised to see that her brother's face didn't take on an expression of shock or anger.

"I know."

"You know?"

"And it _wasn't your fault."_ Five took another step closer. "Don't take the blame for being a scared little kid who couldn't train herself. That's on dad, not you. And hey, if you come down with me, we can go piss on his grave or something. Sound good?"

Jesus Christ, what was she doing?

With shaky hands and lungs that were suddenly gasping for air, Vanya cautiously slipped her head out of the noose. Was the room spinning? God, she could hardly see two feet in front of her, and-

A hand grasped hers.

"It's okay. I've got you. Can you hop down for me?"

Vanya obeyed, nearly falling flat on her face as she stepped off of the short stool and instantly sank to the floor. She could've _killed_ herself. She could've _died._

She would've never seen Five again.

"I'm sorry, God I'm _sorry,"_

"Well, next time you've gotta reach out before it gets to this point." Five said. "I'd avoid Luther though. and Diego."

"They'd probably tell me to do it and do the world a favor."

Five stifiled a laugh. "Diego would stop you if you told him you were the reincarnation of JFK."

"Okay, yeah, seriously. What's up with that?"

"Who the hell knows?"

The siblings laughed, and it was almost like nothing had happened just now. Like she wouldn't be a corpse swinging from the ceiling if Five had been just a few minutes later.

"I'm sorry Five."

"I know."

"I don't think I would've gone through with it, I just..." Vanya trailed off, not sure of what to say next.

"The possibility was comforting, right?" Five suggested. "Like if you screwed up just one more time, your escape was there."

She couldn't believe he'd put it into words. "Yeah. Exactly."

"But you aren't going to _need_ that escape anymore." Five stood, producing a pocket knife from his jacket. He very quickly and unceremoniously sawed the rope down from the ceiling. He held it up so that it framed his face, as if it were some sort of grim picture frame. "Celebratory noose burning on Dad's grave?"

"Can't we get in trouble for that?"

"Who gives a fuck?"

Vanya exhaled with a laugh, pushed herself up off of the floor, and followed her brother out.


End file.
